Finish Line
I find myself careening toward a self-assigned deadline. I declared that I would finish this first book for September 30th. October 1st will launch me into development of the sequel, of which I will write a first draft in November as part of NaNoWriMo. On September 22nd, I have a coaching session scheduled with my editor. Ideally, I'd like to finish the current revision to-do list with enough time for my editor to review what I've got and even squeeze in another coaching session ahead of the one on the 22nd. I will need to hustle in order to do this, and to place even more hustle on the situation, I would love to have a coaching session this Friday, ahead of my three-hour write-in on Saturday. I am anxious over this, and frightened. Because this is the first book I will actually complete. I have drafted this story over and over across the last decade (and then some), always going back to make major changes rather than to pull the lever and create a finished product. Reaching out this year broke the cycle. Having a supportive professional involved in the process has given me the confidence to push forward. Before, it was just me, and in my head all the imposter syndrome questions that come before revealing a big piece of myself to the world. I was convinced I needed to strive for perfection. I was convinced I would be revealed as a fool. I was further convinced by the feedback I got that while I was telling a good story, it was not ready. This year I resolved to make it ready. This year it will be done. I will slay the dragon that has beat me back repeatedly. This year I started writing daily. This year I began looking and planning for my self-publishing future with intent. I took notes when I listened to certain podcasts. I increased the number of novels I read three-fold. I joined self publishing associations and opened a dedicated bank account for my authorial transactions. I am taking this seriously, and in return I felt that I am taking my goals more seriously. It isn't just 'don't stop til it's done' - it's 'decide to finish it.'