Snippet: Disguise
I face infinite possibilities. A slew of fabrics, each one a potential definition for who I will be today. The testaments upon which others will judge me, sort me, know me. Different hues, each a signal. What message will I send? That one, with that other, and I'm sophisticated and unapproachable. This one, with those, and I'm comfortable but lowly. Black for mystery, blue for studious. Pink for weakness, orange for free-spirited. I didn't write the rule book, and neither did anyone I'll encounter when I leave the room. But we follow its scripture. DRESS FOR SUCCESS. Gray for bookishness. But maybe with the lime green, and I'll be childlike and endearing. And then the question of shoes. Torture or comfort. Practicality or glamour. Casual or endurance. Does all the contemplation lead me to the right decision? It's all a disguise. None of this can be assembled into the sum of who I am. None of this sends the signals that fluctuate across my mind throughout the day, never to cross my lips. I turn, nude, and exit through the window. Flap my feathers against the sky. Transform, shed pretense, and escape. Author's note: These snippets are unedited free-writing exercises that I use as a way to shift my brain into a creative state. I use Lynda Barry's What It Is YouTube timed exercises (usually 9 minutes worth of writing) for these. They are handwritten in a composition notebook, and then typed up here. As I transcribe them, I do tiny grammar and spelling checks, but the overall "clarity" (if you can call it that) of the exercise is left as-is.